Does hurt if I wait untill I am fully "grown"?

I am nervous, angry, worried, teriffied, upset, etc., etc....about the topic of .... It seems like the world is biologically unfair because girls experience pain at the first time they have while guys feel nothing but pleasure (unless they love you and care about your pain.) I am just so shaken up over what the people have told me on here. "oh it hurts soooo bad" or "it doesnt hurt at all" which is it??! Another thing that upsets me is the issue of virginity. In the 70s', girls were giving up their virginity left and right...but not for love...or money. They did it to feel LIBERATED. Girl on top...yeah. But on the other side...I feel as if if I have the "wrong way" I'm just going to feel awful afterwards and feel you know....DEGRADED. So that's how I feel....being a virgin is bad and not being a virgin is also bad. So I'm just asking, for further research, if I were to wait untill I was fully "grown" and old enough, would still hurt? What way could I do it so it wouldn't